I know what I say, I say out of turn. My words speak of matters my life has barely yet experienced but the anticipation drives me to expression. What should I reveal about my heart? How much needs unveiled for understanding? I do not know, but my words find their way to the page.
I have experienced love between friends, with my parents as their son, with the Willmores and Empsons as part of a family, with God as one of his people, and at one time with a special person, but no longer. Now something seems to escape me. I have thought about what my life lacks, what can brighten or change the mundane days that pile on top of another to form the silhouette that reflects my life? Surely not only I feel this void, others share my loneliness. What I really want, what I desire, I have little control over. It now seems long since past when I enjoyed a partnership of Love. The scriptures say, “It is not good for man to be alone.” I believe it. I do have friends and I look to them for happiness but the level of companionship between friends seems shallow between two crossed in Love. Those friends I have, many already have their life partners; joining in marriage and investing in each other, which ought to be. Often I see their happiness, and their joy brings me joy, but I want to share in that spirit, taste the luxuries they seem to of acquired. At the same time I want to express to you, I do not feel desperate. I will not just take any girl that looks my way; perhaps my problems link directly to my standards. Do I aim to high?
I bet I know the line of thought you travel. “He is only in love with love, he proves purely pathetic.” You may speak some truth, occasionally the heart miss-interprets the mind and when I act on the heart I feel blind in reason. I think Love grows deeper then Reason or Philosophy, beyond that of wit and thought. I long to Love and be Loved, yes; do I understand what Love is, maybe not. The void in my life I think embodies one aspect of a complex notion.
One evening four men sat around a table at their local sonic enjoying a late night meal to satisfy their craving bellies. All four prove their worth in wisdom for their age. Not one yet reached five and twenty years; the age that insurance corporations say becomes responsible enough to drive reasonably. The eldest leaned a crossed the table and asked a question that spawned a discussion which lasted for over an hour. “What is love?” First, silence griped the atmosphere; no one expected something so vast.
After a while several ideas surfaced. “Love is a choice.” This first came to light. A degree of truth resides in this idea however I fear to many only hold to this, and look no further. Is it Love if the choice you have made to love does not return the favor, at what point would it no longer be Love and just another infatuation? Well, many believe God loves all even those who do not acknowledge him; do the same rules apply between two human specimens. Can I love a woman with a true love, same way God loves us, even though she wishes to take her affection elsewhere, would it then become infatuation or lust? What about Love amongst friends? Obviously a different love connects friends then a married couple. God’s love for us must be different then friendship because of his constant admiration for us; we pass friend to friend when life separates us either by growing apart, argument, or betrayal. Very quickly a problem of diction arose to complicate such discussion. Several types of Love exist even the Greeks knew this. English has a weakness in philosophy.
The discussion carried into debate, a tussling of ideas and a challenge of pride. The discussion ended with this. “Love is indescribable.” That statement, when thought about, is a paradox. The word indescribable is an attempt to explain a matter when words and language fail, how can one express an idea with a word that explains it can’t be done using words. Now with that being said; I have already gone longer then I desired so I must stop now and continue later. In the next few posts, I shall consider aspects of Love my mind can attempt to fathom.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Monday, December 31, 2007
The Struggles of Sin
The darkest of all times comes when men stand against men, abandoning all other notions, and for the plumb reason of orders strikes down members of mankind. No, I say with great fortune that I have not witness war or its graphic result in the flesh. And I am not some liberal giving yet another disillusioned claim that this or any war’s intention is wrong nor do I like to write about politics in which everyone who has always seems to have “the right” opinion. This war I speak of reaches further into history then September 11th, the 60s or 1941, and the history of this Republic or its discoverers. I speak of the war that rages between two forces unseen but played out in our daily lives. No I am not also speaking of God and his angel Lucifer per say, that score is settled all that remains is to sweep up the aftermath. The one I speak of we all are soldiers in.
C.S. Lewis, my senior patron, (as Dr. Bridges would say) in many books uses war to describe the battle between good and evil. It has a way of making expressions come to life and gain deeper meaning. C.S. Lewis is not the only one to use this metaphor. The Apostle Paul used it in his letter to the Romans.
“We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law’ but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God – through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. (Romans 7:14-25. NIV)”
Many scholars argue about from what perspective Paul writes this piece, whether it depicts the struggle of all new Christians, the Jews struggling with their transformation to Christianity at the time, the history of Israel, or Paul himself. Frankly I do not care what writing stylistic idea you may hold, what does it matter? The message applies to all perspectives. I have been a student of Christ since 1995, I can tell you that no matter what level of maturity I have obtained this inner self conflict has always been present and prevalent. A war that rages on between what we know to be righteous and the desires of the flesh. It is easy for me to get lost in these simple but flabbergasting words from Romans. The idea may be this; no line is drawn separating good people and bad people. The citizens of mankind, even the Christians, have bad and good in them. The good inherited by the creator and the bad welcomed in by our lustful appetites. Whichever one we chose determines the law we follow. More simply, it decides our master. Martin Luther would dash around his room at night in rage about his evil thoughts and cursing himself and Lucifer. Like a mad man he argued with himself yet maybe his understanding of his condition has surpassed what I or we seem to comprehend. He hated evil so consequently hated the part of himself that desired evil. Not recognizing the war exists at all, ignorance of its presence or necessity bears down on many including myself many times. In this case ignorance does not equal bliss. Concentrating on what we hate about one ourselves does not seem to overcome it. The problem of our pain surpasses that of creation because of our intuitive minds, we focus on our suffering. Instead, in order to win, to defeat our own mind games, to no longer observe evil we must learn to focus on what separates us from wickedness, for we know Love. Evil will always exist in my members capturing me when I lax my guard, fortunately a greater force, preceding evil, also fights for me. If I look for the evil in myself I will surely find it, accomplish nothing to suppress it, and finally become imprisoned by it. Instead dwell on the Good, his name is Yahweh.
C.S. Lewis, my senior patron, (as Dr. Bridges would say) in many books uses war to describe the battle between good and evil. It has a way of making expressions come to life and gain deeper meaning. C.S. Lewis is not the only one to use this metaphor. The Apostle Paul used it in his letter to the Romans.
“We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law’ but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God – through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. (Romans 7:14-25. NIV)”
Many scholars argue about from what perspective Paul writes this piece, whether it depicts the struggle of all new Christians, the Jews struggling with their transformation to Christianity at the time, the history of Israel, or Paul himself. Frankly I do not care what writing stylistic idea you may hold, what does it matter? The message applies to all perspectives. I have been a student of Christ since 1995, I can tell you that no matter what level of maturity I have obtained this inner self conflict has always been present and prevalent. A war that rages on between what we know to be righteous and the desires of the flesh. It is easy for me to get lost in these simple but flabbergasting words from Romans. The idea may be this; no line is drawn separating good people and bad people. The citizens of mankind, even the Christians, have bad and good in them. The good inherited by the creator and the bad welcomed in by our lustful appetites. Whichever one we chose determines the law we follow. More simply, it decides our master. Martin Luther would dash around his room at night in rage about his evil thoughts and cursing himself and Lucifer. Like a mad man he argued with himself yet maybe his understanding of his condition has surpassed what I or we seem to comprehend. He hated evil so consequently hated the part of himself that desired evil. Not recognizing the war exists at all, ignorance of its presence or necessity bears down on many including myself many times. In this case ignorance does not equal bliss. Concentrating on what we hate about one ourselves does not seem to overcome it. The problem of our pain surpasses that of creation because of our intuitive minds, we focus on our suffering. Instead, in order to win, to defeat our own mind games, to no longer observe evil we must learn to focus on what separates us from wickedness, for we know Love. Evil will always exist in my members capturing me when I lax my guard, fortunately a greater force, preceding evil, also fights for me. If I look for the evil in myself I will surely find it, accomplish nothing to suppress it, and finally become imprisoned by it. Instead dwell on the Good, his name is Yahweh.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
The Disturbance of Suffering: my sermon on pain [sermon notes]
Introduction:
“The Son of God suffered unto Death, not that men might not suffer, but that their suffering might be like his.” – George Macdonald.
A cold and stormy night I hid beneath my ultimate protection, but sometimes even that gave way and I was forced to abandon my fortified bed and go to my parents. This particular night the thunder shook the house and the lightning made the room as bright as day. The rain batted against the window and ceiling like a constant wave of sand. It wasn’t that I was afraid of the storm as I was the house being struck by lightning and be fried in my sleep.
Even so I had to leave my safety zone to seek refuge in my parents.
Illustrations:
Biblical Story Genesis 22:1-19
Back Story:
Covenant between God and Abraham…
Miracle Birth
He only had one son.
He must sacrifice his son
Intense pain
What possible good would ever come from this.
Some times you just have to ask why.
None the less, Abraham obeyed God and headed out with Isaac, without telling Isaac what he was planning to do.
Personal Story: Erin and Michael
I want to tell you about my Sister Erin.
As children, she acted like a 2nd mother
She cooked and cleaned for Laura and I.
Most tenderhearted woman.
She married Michael in 2001 and after a year or so they planned to conceive.
They tried and tried and for whatever reason they couldn’t get pregnant.
They got tested and found that nothing was physically wrong with them it was in their head.
4 years ago My sister called from their home in little Georgetown OH to proclaim the good news. She was pregnant.
Oh the joy that was becoming of her.
She was ready to be a mom and wished and prayed for it so.
After being pregnant a couple of weeks she went to the doctor to get an ultra sound, they new they wouldn’t see much but to their alarm, they found nothing.
This wasn’t horrible news. Yet, it raised some questions.
A week later Dad and I went off to Summer camp, not far away in fact closer to where my sister lived.
On Wednesday my dad got a phone call. He rushed to my tent and in a panic and in fear demanded we leave at once. We sped east to the hospital to see my sister awaiting emergency surgery.
Erin lost the child.
[pause]
Teaching on Suffering:
Have you ever asked yourself why me?
And it doesn’t have to be bad; you could be excited from something wonderful. Most often then not I ask myself this after something I am looking forward to goes awry.
Even at times when something goes wrong I lay up at night and my thoughts wonder to what previously occurred. I am sure everyone does it at times, wishing for another try or chance, possibly for her to say yes or thought you should have studied harder, and maybe even think you could have handled things better.
Or miss A loved one who has been taken by death. You may lay awake thinking about your suffering, part of life’s suffering is misery’s shadow lingering; not only do you suffer but you have to think about suffering.
Have you dared beat your chest and raise your fist in anger and shout to the heavens in your own anguish.
Storms come and rain on your parade and there is nothing you can do about it. You would just as soon control the rain or turn the tide before you gain all the wisdom of the world to handle such situations.
I can’t prove this with statistics or find it any book I know of, yet I would say that more people either come to the faith or fall away because of this reason above all; the disturbance of suffering.
Now there are two forms of sufferings observed by man, the physical and the psychological. Let it be known That I shall deal more with the later.
C.S. Lewis writes an amazing book about pain entitled the problem of pain. He brings to light a critical truth about the problem of pain. You see, people have a problem reconciling human suffering with a loving God so long as we attach a trivial meaning to the word Love and look things as if man were the center of them. If God was all good and all powerful he would wish his creation to be all good and it of course is not. Therefore God lacks either goodness or power. This is the problem of pain.
You see God uses Times of suffering to teach and grow us.
If you allow yourself to recount your sufferings, did you not learn more about faith while suffering then any other time?
It has been said that ; “blessings are God’s whispers, he speaks in our conscience, but shouts to us in our suffering.”
Suffering becomes the only way to realize our stagnate spiritual self. Pain is unmasked and every person knows when something is not right when they are hurting. Pain insists upon being attended to.
So when you travel down this line of thought you come to the idea, why do I or someone suffer when others don’t? It isn’t fair
[pause]
I know suffering is exhausting and pain hurts. That is why it is called pain and suffering. If there were an escape a person of great wisdom and foresight would have done it already. Yet Discipleship demands such trials to compel us towards salvation.
Read Hebrews 2:10
In bringing many sons to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the author of their salvation perfect through suffering.
Hebrews deals a lot in discipleship
Suffering becomes synonymous with discipleship.
I began to wonder then if suffering is a good thing. I thought if the bible talks about it so much then maybe I should look for it. I was wrong. You see, suffering is not by itself good. What is good is the sufferer’s submission to God’s will.
Jesus’ suffering:
At the center of all Discussion of suffering there is Christ
those resounding words… Eloi, Eloi, Lama Sabachthani – which means: “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?”
How could Jesus say something which appears offensive?
Because in his suffering he remained obedient and not venture from the Lord’s Will.
Jesus is quoting Psalm 22
•Read excerpts.
Psalm 22
This psalm is the first of the passional psalms.
It reads as if it were written at the foot of the cross.
The sufferer here trusted in the Lord. He knew that God could deliver him. In patient trust he accepted his lot as the will of God.
In spite of his pain and suffering or the mooching of men, the sufferer remained committed in faith to his father.
In verse 22 the writer changes tones. He changes from his suffering to the praise of God. [read vs. 15-25]
Focus on those verses.
Cross imagery.
This is why Jesus was forsaken
Hebrews 2:10-11 [read]
The thing about suffering is that people become blinded by their pain and lose sight of the Lord. In their blindness they are tested, remember God allows this because he loves you, for in your pain you are compelled.
Personal Story: ending
On the way to the hospital we had more questions then answers. When we arrived My mom told us before we went in that Erin had a tubule pregnancy.
A tubule pregnancy is when the Baby is fertilized still in the fallopian tube. They didn’t know this happened because they couldn’t see it.
The tube burst so the baby was aborted but Erin had to have surgery to have it removed or she would die.
The nurse before taking Erin to the O.R said this: “I don’t know what you believe, but I think that if you have faith then you will wake up at the end of this suffering.”
After that the room was in tears, we joined hands and my dad prayed with 20 of us or more in the room. All family and friends.
Then I saw something. In the hall, Michael broke down and wept with his mother holding him. There was nothing I could do to stop my tears let alone his.
• All that was left was to wait.
Erin made it, she lost the use of one of her ovaries. And she went on for months in depression. After a time of grief she recovered and went back to pursing motherhood. She became blessed with Jacob and Justin Peters who are two of the most adorable children.
Transition
Biblical story: ending
Finish story
He had Isaac on the alter, then the angel came.
When ever I read this I always thought to myself, If God is omniscient He must have known what Abraham would have done without the experiment; why then this needless torture?
Not to long ago I realized at a better understanding. Whatever God knew Abraham did not know. He didn’t know his obedience would endure such a hardship. The reality of Abraham’s obedience was the act itself. It was not to prove obedience to God for God’s sake but for God to show Abraham how obedient he truly was.
[pause]
closing:
On that cold night.
When I was a child I was scared of the storm but as I matured the storm became soothing after a long day of work.
The Son of God suffered unto Death. Not that men might not suffer, but that their suffering might be like His.”
Amen.
“The Son of God suffered unto Death, not that men might not suffer, but that their suffering might be like his.” – George Macdonald.
A cold and stormy night I hid beneath my ultimate protection, but sometimes even that gave way and I was forced to abandon my fortified bed and go to my parents. This particular night the thunder shook the house and the lightning made the room as bright as day. The rain batted against the window and ceiling like a constant wave of sand. It wasn’t that I was afraid of the storm as I was the house being struck by lightning and be fried in my sleep.
Even so I had to leave my safety zone to seek refuge in my parents.
Illustrations:
Biblical Story Genesis 22:1-19
Back Story:
Covenant between God and Abraham…
Miracle Birth
He only had one son.
He must sacrifice his son
Intense pain
What possible good would ever come from this.
Some times you just have to ask why.
None the less, Abraham obeyed God and headed out with Isaac, without telling Isaac what he was planning to do.
Personal Story: Erin and Michael
I want to tell you about my Sister Erin.
As children, she acted like a 2nd mother
She cooked and cleaned for Laura and I.
Most tenderhearted woman.
She married Michael in 2001 and after a year or so they planned to conceive.
They tried and tried and for whatever reason they couldn’t get pregnant.
They got tested and found that nothing was physically wrong with them it was in their head.
4 years ago My sister called from their home in little Georgetown OH to proclaim the good news. She was pregnant.
Oh the joy that was becoming of her.
She was ready to be a mom and wished and prayed for it so.
After being pregnant a couple of weeks she went to the doctor to get an ultra sound, they new they wouldn’t see much but to their alarm, they found nothing.
This wasn’t horrible news. Yet, it raised some questions.
A week later Dad and I went off to Summer camp, not far away in fact closer to where my sister lived.
On Wednesday my dad got a phone call. He rushed to my tent and in a panic and in fear demanded we leave at once. We sped east to the hospital to see my sister awaiting emergency surgery.
Erin lost the child.
[pause]
Teaching on Suffering:
Have you ever asked yourself why me?
And it doesn’t have to be bad; you could be excited from something wonderful. Most often then not I ask myself this after something I am looking forward to goes awry.
Even at times when something goes wrong I lay up at night and my thoughts wonder to what previously occurred. I am sure everyone does it at times, wishing for another try or chance, possibly for her to say yes or thought you should have studied harder, and maybe even think you could have handled things better.
Or miss A loved one who has been taken by death. You may lay awake thinking about your suffering, part of life’s suffering is misery’s shadow lingering; not only do you suffer but you have to think about suffering.
Have you dared beat your chest and raise your fist in anger and shout to the heavens in your own anguish.
Storms come and rain on your parade and there is nothing you can do about it. You would just as soon control the rain or turn the tide before you gain all the wisdom of the world to handle such situations.
I can’t prove this with statistics or find it any book I know of, yet I would say that more people either come to the faith or fall away because of this reason above all; the disturbance of suffering.
Now there are two forms of sufferings observed by man, the physical and the psychological. Let it be known That I shall deal more with the later.
C.S. Lewis writes an amazing book about pain entitled the problem of pain. He brings to light a critical truth about the problem of pain. You see, people have a problem reconciling human suffering with a loving God so long as we attach a trivial meaning to the word Love and look things as if man were the center of them. If God was all good and all powerful he would wish his creation to be all good and it of course is not. Therefore God lacks either goodness or power. This is the problem of pain.
You see God uses Times of suffering to teach and grow us.
If you allow yourself to recount your sufferings, did you not learn more about faith while suffering then any other time?
It has been said that ; “blessings are God’s whispers, he speaks in our conscience, but shouts to us in our suffering.”
Suffering becomes the only way to realize our stagnate spiritual self. Pain is unmasked and every person knows when something is not right when they are hurting. Pain insists upon being attended to.
So when you travel down this line of thought you come to the idea, why do I or someone suffer when others don’t? It isn’t fair
[pause]
I know suffering is exhausting and pain hurts. That is why it is called pain and suffering. If there were an escape a person of great wisdom and foresight would have done it already. Yet Discipleship demands such trials to compel us towards salvation.
Read Hebrews 2:10
In bringing many sons to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the author of their salvation perfect through suffering.
Hebrews deals a lot in discipleship
Suffering becomes synonymous with discipleship.
I began to wonder then if suffering is a good thing. I thought if the bible talks about it so much then maybe I should look for it. I was wrong. You see, suffering is not by itself good. What is good is the sufferer’s submission to God’s will.
Jesus’ suffering:
At the center of all Discussion of suffering there is Christ
those resounding words… Eloi, Eloi, Lama Sabachthani – which means: “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?”
How could Jesus say something which appears offensive?
Because in his suffering he remained obedient and not venture from the Lord’s Will.
Jesus is quoting Psalm 22
•Read excerpts.
Psalm 22
This psalm is the first of the passional psalms.
It reads as if it were written at the foot of the cross.
The sufferer here trusted in the Lord. He knew that God could deliver him. In patient trust he accepted his lot as the will of God.
In spite of his pain and suffering or the mooching of men, the sufferer remained committed in faith to his father.
In verse 22 the writer changes tones. He changes from his suffering to the praise of God. [read vs. 15-25]
Focus on those verses.
Cross imagery.
This is why Jesus was forsaken
Hebrews 2:10-11 [read]
The thing about suffering is that people become blinded by their pain and lose sight of the Lord. In their blindness they are tested, remember God allows this because he loves you, for in your pain you are compelled.
Personal Story: ending
On the way to the hospital we had more questions then answers. When we arrived My mom told us before we went in that Erin had a tubule pregnancy.
A tubule pregnancy is when the Baby is fertilized still in the fallopian tube. They didn’t know this happened because they couldn’t see it.
The tube burst so the baby was aborted but Erin had to have surgery to have it removed or she would die.
The nurse before taking Erin to the O.R said this: “I don’t know what you believe, but I think that if you have faith then you will wake up at the end of this suffering.”
After that the room was in tears, we joined hands and my dad prayed with 20 of us or more in the room. All family and friends.
Then I saw something. In the hall, Michael broke down and wept with his mother holding him. There was nothing I could do to stop my tears let alone his.
• All that was left was to wait.
Erin made it, she lost the use of one of her ovaries. And she went on for months in depression. After a time of grief she recovered and went back to pursing motherhood. She became blessed with Jacob and Justin Peters who are two of the most adorable children.
Transition
Biblical story: ending
Finish story
He had Isaac on the alter, then the angel came.
When ever I read this I always thought to myself, If God is omniscient He must have known what Abraham would have done without the experiment; why then this needless torture?
Not to long ago I realized at a better understanding. Whatever God knew Abraham did not know. He didn’t know his obedience would endure such a hardship. The reality of Abraham’s obedience was the act itself. It was not to prove obedience to God for God’s sake but for God to show Abraham how obedient he truly was.
[pause]
closing:
On that cold night.
When I was a child I was scared of the storm but as I matured the storm became soothing after a long day of work.
The Son of God suffered unto Death. Not that men might not suffer, but that their suffering might be like His.”
Amen.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Thundering Upsets
Have you ever asked yourself why me? And it doesn’t have to be bad; you could be excited from something wonderful. Most often then not I ask myself this after something I am looking forward to goes awry. Even at times when something goes wrong I lay up at night and my thoughts wonder to what previously occurred. I am sure everyone does it at times, wishing for another try or chance, possibly for her to say yes or thought you should have studied harder, and maybe even think you could have handled things better. Storms come and rain on your parade and there is nothing you can do about it. You would just as soon control the rain or turn the tide before you gain all the wisdom of the world to handle such situations. I have been hitting some dead end roads lately if you haven’t noticed. I do not wish to share at this time the particulars just know the results. Frustration does not even begin to describe the feelings that I sometimes lose control of. When your hopes and feelings get caught up in an idea of something beautiful your heart races, palms sweat, and you really can’t sit still or keep from shaking your hands. Then when the opposite, your stomach feels like it just fell from your body, the heart still races but from anguish and everyone around you knows by the grave look that sweeps across your face without control. I can’t explain why things seem to have not gone my way, but I know that no other choice remains but to carry on. Put on this happy visage like nothing keeps me down and be that colorful character everyone loves to share laughter with. When I begin to sink into a sulky outlook on my somewhat pathetic circumstance, with out reason or incentive, I remember the words of the wise tropical fish Dori from Finding Nemo; “just keep swimming.” No other option appears viable or plausible. The only way to track through what seems like mud is to keep working towards what I know is good and that is God. That may seem cheesy or cliché to you yet I know trust is faith and faith births perseverance, perseverance arrives at hope and the only thing left is Love. So now, even though my spirit is low I look towards grey skies and not only uncertainty but anticipation wondering what rainstorm may come my way, and I quote one of my favorite movies; “God is in the rain.” The only thing I can pray for is that one of these storms will grow roots for something long lasting and not another disappointing mud bath. I don’t know if this has made any since to you, I’m not sure if it does to me but walk away with this, even though things don’t always go the way you plan if you get caught up in the immediate depression you may miss the chance to strengthen in character and wisdom. Thunder when you’re a child frightens you but when maturity sets in you find it soothing when resting after a long day of work.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Curse Our "Pride and Prejudice"
I can not believe what I am about to tell you, when you hear I’m sure you will no longer look at me the same and may never again view me as the dominating strong man that I know everyone sees when they look my direction. Through my youth my mother spooned fed us kids all sorts of novels. Novels that guys should not read. All I need to say is one name, Jane Austin. It gets worse, she also read books to us like The Secret Garden and Jane Eyre. While in youth Erin, Laura, and I sat on our parents King size bed and talk for hours and on several occasions Mom read to us from what ever book she had her nose in that time. She loves to read so it was no bother to her. Yet all of this may not shock you, but this will. I love Pride and Prejudice. The Proud Mr. Darcy, and the Prejudice Eliza Bennett beautifully carry out a battle of wits to prove to the other what they themselves subconsciously are. In the midst of the grave quarrel between the two destine lovers Mr. Darcy unveils his “folly” to the “pair of fine eyes” Elizabeth. He so boldly proclaims, “I find it hard to forgive the follies and vices of others or their offences against me. My good opinion once lost is lost forever.”
The sins pride and prejudice really go hand in hand. One cannot exist without the other. Jane Austin’s Pride and Prejudice displays this impulse perfectly through these two characters, not only does it take a strong hold on the perspective of life but it controls and twists lives. Not only those lives of the proud and of the prejudice, but everyone closely related to them. At some point a person’s iniquities spills over and impinges on those even most precious to them. Pride is a vast and complicated sin to defeat; no one can ever overcome its grasp, for me if I achieved flawless modesty I would discover myself boasting in my meekness. So to avoid the limitless complication in describing pride I want to focus on what Darcy said. “I find it hard to forgive the follies and vices of others or their offense against me. My good opinion once lost is lost forever.”
In the past two years I realized I share the same view as Darcy. I discovered after someone offended me I could not forgive them and held bitterness long after the offence took place. Once they (whoever that may be) did something to compromise my stature and ridicule me they no longer had any worth and disserved to get thrown out. This may seem worse; I sometimes looked for reasons to despise a person. I know this view leaves a distasteful reflection of my Christianity and for this reason I apologize to those I retaliated against with unrighteous anger and those who did not deserve it I beg for your mercy. This problem of mine derives from my pride that I need to swallow and look upon people with Love and not an arrogant demeanor. Even the great Mr. Darcy and the lovely Elizabeth Bennett could find a way to put their arrogant presuppositions aside and find an appeal in the other. Jesus said the greatest commandment is “Love your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength and the second is similar to the first. Love your Neighbor as yourself.” The later of these I am finding most difficult to accomplish. Curse our pride and prejudices.
Also, happy birthday Dad!
The sins pride and prejudice really go hand in hand. One cannot exist without the other. Jane Austin’s Pride and Prejudice displays this impulse perfectly through these two characters, not only does it take a strong hold on the perspective of life but it controls and twists lives. Not only those lives of the proud and of the prejudice, but everyone closely related to them. At some point a person’s iniquities spills over and impinges on those even most precious to them. Pride is a vast and complicated sin to defeat; no one can ever overcome its grasp, for me if I achieved flawless modesty I would discover myself boasting in my meekness. So to avoid the limitless complication in describing pride I want to focus on what Darcy said. “I find it hard to forgive the follies and vices of others or their offense against me. My good opinion once lost is lost forever.”
In the past two years I realized I share the same view as Darcy. I discovered after someone offended me I could not forgive them and held bitterness long after the offence took place. Once they (whoever that may be) did something to compromise my stature and ridicule me they no longer had any worth and disserved to get thrown out. This may seem worse; I sometimes looked for reasons to despise a person. I know this view leaves a distasteful reflection of my Christianity and for this reason I apologize to those I retaliated against with unrighteous anger and those who did not deserve it I beg for your mercy. This problem of mine derives from my pride that I need to swallow and look upon people with Love and not an arrogant demeanor. Even the great Mr. Darcy and the lovely Elizabeth Bennett could find a way to put their arrogant presuppositions aside and find an appeal in the other. Jesus said the greatest commandment is “Love your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength and the second is similar to the first. Love your Neighbor as yourself.” The later of these I am finding most difficult to accomplish. Curse our pride and prejudices.
Also, happy birthday Dad!
Monday, October 1, 2007
Simply Grace
“There is no one righteous, not even one;
There is no one who understands, no one who seeks God.
All have turned away; they have together become worthless;
There is no one who does good, not even one.”
(Romans 3:10b-12)
These verses scare me. Every time I read this section of Romans I get so depressed. I just can’t believe taking these words for their literal meaning, if I do then I am forced to impose it on myself and I love to think I am a good guy, a moral person, even a good Christian. I like to forget about this passage and go on living as if I fulfilled the meaning of perfection and have everyone look at me in aw. I am totally aware of the fact that I have fallen from God, and by doing so I deserve to die eternally. You know, this passage could even drive a person mad with anger and frustration because the resolution of it means that we could never come close to seeking God even when we believe otherwise. After countless hours of study, years of school, money, worship, and prayer I find that I still fail to seek God daily. Well let me go end my life now to finish my frustration. If any person opened the Bible to this page and read only these passages they would shut it thinking that Religion leads to a lost cause and therefore frivolous, I pray this never happens. In light of these harsh words, Paul points out that in my transgressions, because of my sins I disobeyed his law and deserve death in the gravest of meaning. Despite Paul’s tantalizing words I know he goes on to make a point of a deeper meaning and instead of depression my joy is made complete.
“As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins,… but because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions – it is by grace you have been saved.”
(Ephesians 2:1,4)
This passage reassures me. Instead of the guilt and anger I find joy when I read this passage. Grace can be hard to explain. The preacher today at my church gave this analogy.
A high school biology professor started of his class a little different one day seeing that it was exam day. All the students sat in their seats and opened their books to the chapters of the examination. The professor began a quick review over the chapters before handing out the exam. All the students did great at answering the questions, all participated and it was every teacher’s dream of the perfect class. Yet as the review began to wind down the material he came to no one knew. All the students began to panic and race through worry in their anxious thoughts. A student raised his hand and asked, “We didn’t cover this in class how did we know to study for it?” The professor responded, “You were responsible for everything covered in the chapters.” The review ended and the professor began to pass out the exam, face down. He told everyone not to start until everyone received it and he gave the go ahead. When the professor acknowledge to start, every student flipped over the exam worrying about how awful they would do. To every student’s surprise their names were written at the top of each exam in read and every correct answer already circled. They looked at him puzzled, and he responded with this, “I had mercy on you and gave you grace, I took the exam for you because unlike you I knew all the answers so because of me everyone of you passed with a 100 percent.” The class was dismissed.
Yes, I know I deserve the worst, but in light of God’s mercy he acted by taking the test himself and he passed with flying colors. In his death, all of your sins and my sins have been forgiven and in his resurrection bestowed life to all who accepted his gift of forgiveness. Do not find anguish in the guilt of your transgressions; instead find all happiness. Make your joy complete in God’s grace because it is the gift no one deserves, but in God’s love delivered it to us through the cross. Amen.
There is no one who understands, no one who seeks God.
All have turned away; they have together become worthless;
There is no one who does good, not even one.”
(Romans 3:10b-12)
These verses scare me. Every time I read this section of Romans I get so depressed. I just can’t believe taking these words for their literal meaning, if I do then I am forced to impose it on myself and I love to think I am a good guy, a moral person, even a good Christian. I like to forget about this passage and go on living as if I fulfilled the meaning of perfection and have everyone look at me in aw. I am totally aware of the fact that I have fallen from God, and by doing so I deserve to die eternally. You know, this passage could even drive a person mad with anger and frustration because the resolution of it means that we could never come close to seeking God even when we believe otherwise. After countless hours of study, years of school, money, worship, and prayer I find that I still fail to seek God daily. Well let me go end my life now to finish my frustration. If any person opened the Bible to this page and read only these passages they would shut it thinking that Religion leads to a lost cause and therefore frivolous, I pray this never happens. In light of these harsh words, Paul points out that in my transgressions, because of my sins I disobeyed his law and deserve death in the gravest of meaning. Despite Paul’s tantalizing words I know he goes on to make a point of a deeper meaning and instead of depression my joy is made complete.
“As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins,… but because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions – it is by grace you have been saved.”
(Ephesians 2:1,4)
This passage reassures me. Instead of the guilt and anger I find joy when I read this passage. Grace can be hard to explain. The preacher today at my church gave this analogy.
A high school biology professor started of his class a little different one day seeing that it was exam day. All the students sat in their seats and opened their books to the chapters of the examination. The professor began a quick review over the chapters before handing out the exam. All the students did great at answering the questions, all participated and it was every teacher’s dream of the perfect class. Yet as the review began to wind down the material he came to no one knew. All the students began to panic and race through worry in their anxious thoughts. A student raised his hand and asked, “We didn’t cover this in class how did we know to study for it?” The professor responded, “You were responsible for everything covered in the chapters.” The review ended and the professor began to pass out the exam, face down. He told everyone not to start until everyone received it and he gave the go ahead. When the professor acknowledge to start, every student flipped over the exam worrying about how awful they would do. To every student’s surprise their names were written at the top of each exam in read and every correct answer already circled. They looked at him puzzled, and he responded with this, “I had mercy on you and gave you grace, I took the exam for you because unlike you I knew all the answers so because of me everyone of you passed with a 100 percent.” The class was dismissed.
Yes, I know I deserve the worst, but in light of God’s mercy he acted by taking the test himself and he passed with flying colors. In his death, all of your sins and my sins have been forgiven and in his resurrection bestowed life to all who accepted his gift of forgiveness. Do not find anguish in the guilt of your transgressions; instead find all happiness. Make your joy complete in God’s grace because it is the gift no one deserves, but in God’s love delivered it to us through the cross. Amen.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Long Distance Relationships...
I have come to despise long distance relationships. I myself once had a long distance relationship with my girlfriend at the time. I shall say first, difficulty does not bear the meaning of the term. Frustration seeps in and corrupts each other’s thoughts. Then if that didn’t seem like enough, after time you begin to feel separated emotionally. Without the physical presence of the other intimacy and love become stress instead of virtues. Temptation draws each other away to other enticing prospects; it just seems easier to give in and abandon then to continuously work out the Love. Our long distance relationship did not end well for us, and even though we seek reconciliation with one another, after a long separation the bond that once shared love will doubtfully be remade.
I envy the biblical writers and witnesses who could enjoy Christ’s teachings and live where he lived and walked where he walked. God’s manifestation in Christ seems that if I could only live when Jesus did I may share a closer bond with God for this reason, I can see the works of God manifested in a mere man and bask in his glory. Unfortunately, I may never have that honor and am forced to have a relationship that seems so distant. I can never place my hands on his robe or have him wipe the tears from my eyes. I can never see the passion that exploded from his words, which shook the foundations of fisherman.
The Gospel of John 1 reads;
In the beginning was the word, the word was with God and the word was God. He was with God in the beginning… the word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and only, who came from the father full of grace and truth.
The word became flesh and dwelled with men. Those beautiful words of poetry barely justify the meaning and act they represent. God came to us and lived where we live so that we may live with him for eternity. If only I lived then and witness the life and light that was the word. Now he returned to his home in heaven and I endure a relationship that spans dimensions. Such an idea seems ludicrous. Because he lived so long ago sometimes it seems he never came at all and I find myself praying to a being that I forget experienced what I experience. Every temptation and every suffering I go through Jesus endured and suffered through as well. I want to reach out and clasp his cloak and weep at his feet but how impossible it seems to practice a relationship with someone I have never met. This frustrates me especially while I suffer.
I loathe long distance relationships yet despite my frustrations and doubt I continue to work out this relationship and continue to strive for a connection that endures the sufferings of life. It seems so similar to a long distance relationship but where my ex and I failed God succeeded. The relationship rests on my shoulders, I pray for strength to endure this lifetime of separation and live by hope to one day dwell with the word who is God.
I envy the biblical writers and witnesses who could enjoy Christ’s teachings and live where he lived and walked where he walked. God’s manifestation in Christ seems that if I could only live when Jesus did I may share a closer bond with God for this reason, I can see the works of God manifested in a mere man and bask in his glory. Unfortunately, I may never have that honor and am forced to have a relationship that seems so distant. I can never place my hands on his robe or have him wipe the tears from my eyes. I can never see the passion that exploded from his words, which shook the foundations of fisherman.
The Gospel of John 1 reads;
In the beginning was the word, the word was with God and the word was God. He was with God in the beginning… the word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and only, who came from the father full of grace and truth.
The word became flesh and dwelled with men. Those beautiful words of poetry barely justify the meaning and act they represent. God came to us and lived where we live so that we may live with him for eternity. If only I lived then and witness the life and light that was the word. Now he returned to his home in heaven and I endure a relationship that spans dimensions. Such an idea seems ludicrous. Because he lived so long ago sometimes it seems he never came at all and I find myself praying to a being that I forget experienced what I experience. Every temptation and every suffering I go through Jesus endured and suffered through as well. I want to reach out and clasp his cloak and weep at his feet but how impossible it seems to practice a relationship with someone I have never met. This frustrates me especially while I suffer.
I loathe long distance relationships yet despite my frustrations and doubt I continue to work out this relationship and continue to strive for a connection that endures the sufferings of life. It seems so similar to a long distance relationship but where my ex and I failed God succeeded. The relationship rests on my shoulders, I pray for strength to endure this lifetime of separation and live by hope to one day dwell with the word who is God.
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